It feels, finally, like my job is coming to an end. I have one more day on Monday. We had a small gathering in the local pub and I was given some very nice, art related, presents. There is some pressure, even now, to stay. One of the strange things about my journey with God is that I no longer feel I am ‘special’ because I am good with computers. This is not really humility. I’m just me. The fact that I can figure out these complex systems doesn’t make me better or worse, just me.

I keep on thinking about Peter fixing his eyes on Jesus and stepping out of that boat. The passage is from Matthew Chapter 14:

^24-26 Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. “A ghost!” they said, crying out in terror.

²⁷ But Jesus was quick to comfort them. “Courage, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”

²⁸ Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”

^29-30 He said, “Come ahead.”

Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”

³¹ Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”

^32-33 The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down. The disciples in the boat, having watched the whole thing, worshiped Jesus, saying, “This is it! You are God’s Son for sure!”

I know that God wants me to do this but I’m afraid of the waves. What happens if I just waste my time. If there isn’t anything else once I leave the ‘boat’ of computing. What happens if all my ideas are just that, my ideas. Its a matter of trust I guess.