Category Archives: Pilgrimage Diary

Pilgrimage Diary – 29th March

Thinking about our walk I did two pictures. The first is this which is more the feel of walking over a windy hillside.walk 1
The second is a map with pictures of the very last part of our walk.

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This last part will be through the very beautiful countryside around Canterbury. I’ve imagined a blue sky with little fluffy clouds. It will be interesting to see what it is really like.

I haven’t been blogging this weeks but I’ve been quite busy. I had a trip to London with a friend to the Tate Britain. Great gallery. We had a little tour with a lovely guide. And I have been starting to set up a new Christian Book Club.  But I have also been quite tired. I think this is a reaction to suddenly being able to relax after so long under pressure. The other night I slept for 8 hours straight which is really unusual. Maybe this is God’s way of healing.

Tomorrow is Mother’s day. It is a significant one for me as, for the first time in 19 years, I will have neither of my children with me. Will is living in London now. Lucy is on her French exchange. I’m OK with this, it feels right. As a mother there is a sadness and a joy in seeing your children grow up. There is an article in the Times today by Janice Taylor about modern parenting which is interesting from a Christian point of view:

The Tory MP Rory Stewart said this week that “ours is a culture not of ancestor worship but of descendant worship. Children must sense that nothing an adult does is more important than their own desires”

In the absence of religious faith, we believe only in our own DNA and push around our household gods in Bugaboos. Parenthood is no longer a phase of everyday life, but a revered state. The world is not an adult domain into which children must learn to fit, but increasingly organised around childish needs. As Mr Stewart told Radio Times, babies are the new Opium of the masses.

So, for many people, Dawkins is right. There really is nothing but ‘The Selfish Gene’.  Even as a Christian it is hard not to see your own children as amazing (especially when they really are amazing!) but it is balanced by the knowledge that they  are God’s Children as well as ours. So ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ to me. I’ll enjoy it.

Pilgrimage Diary – Walking

Walking North Downs Stepping Stones

Two lovely weekend days and I was too busy to blog! On Saturday we did a practice walk for the pilgrimage. We walked from Reigate to Dorking along the ridge of the North Downs. The picture on the left is some of us resting high up above the valley. Then down to the valley and across the stepping stones across the Mole, which is the other picture. The guy in the stripy tee shirt is Cyril, my husband, who was quite nervous. Even after a couple of weeks of reasonably dry weather the river is still very high and coming just over the stones. Its not very deep but you would still get wet if you fell in! In the river valley the woods were full of wild garlic which had a wonderful aroma.

Then back along the Greensand Way to Reigate. After 20 miles my right knee was aching a lot but some people were suffering more. I’m not exactly sure what effect this is having from a spiritual point of view. It feels like a ‘clearing out’; being out in the familiar, beautiful Surrey countryside, letting my mind wander where it will. I was very tired but peaceful when we came back and in bed by 9:30.

Pilgrimage Diary – 21st March

Back blogging after a difficult couple of days. I guess I should have expected some adjustments after stopping work so suddenly. The answer was simple. I woke up this sunny morning and got my painting gear together. Drove about a mile to the foot of the downs and painted the view. Reigate is just to the left. Tomorrow morning we will be walking 20 miles to Dorking – first over the top of where I’m sitting and coming back in front. I’m not sure how to develop these pictures. I might just try my new watercolour paints to start off with.

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Then we wandered out to the shops this afternoon.

On the way back the rain came down and the sun was still out. The rainbow seemed to be coming right into Lucy’s House.IMG_0005

Pilgrimage Diary – Not working

Me 1Today is my first day not working. There were times when I really did feel like the picture. A strange and rather wonderful sense of space. The spring flowers are everywhere, although no tulips yet (did I mention the tulips? I’ll get back to that). There were some things that should have been frustrating but weren’t: Meeting up with a friend cancelled, a very slow queue in the supermarket.

My original blog readers must be getting a bit frustrated because I haven’t done a book review in ages. I have been reading ‘A New kind of Christianity’ by Brian McLaren. There are some great ideas but I think it says a lot about the state of the church in the USA. We do moan about our rather meek and mild Church of England but maybe its not so bad after all! But he has some great ideas about Heaven, Hell and how we have got it wrong. Watch this space for more details.

Pilgrimage Diary – Sunday

I realise my posts have got a bit serious recently. But I had a lovely peaceful Sunday. Lucy has been baking for my last day at work tomorrow. Cakes below:

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I’ve started walking in the evenings. Yesterday I watched the moon rise over open the open fields (a line from a song I think) but without my camera. This evening I loved the shapes of the bare trees with the sunset behind. In a month they will have leaves on.

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Pilgrimage Diary – Work

It feels, finally, like my job is coming to an end. I have one more day on Monday. We had a small gathering in the local pub and I was given some very nice, art related, presents. There is some pressure, even now, to stay. One of the strange things about my journey with God is that I no longer feel I am ‘special’ because I am good with computers. This is not really humility. I’m just me. The fact that I can figure out these complex systems doesn’t make me better or worse, just me.

I keep on thinking about Peter fixing his eyes on Jesus and stepping out of that boat. The passage is from Matthew Chapter 14:

24-26 Meanwhile, the boat was far out to sea when the wind came up against them and they were battered by the waves. At about four o’clock in the morning, Jesus came toward them walking on the water. They were scared out of their wits. “A ghost!” they said, crying out in terror.

27 But Jesus was quick to comfort them. “Courage, it’s me. Don’t be afraid.”

28 Peter, suddenly bold, said, “Master, if it’s really you, call me to come to you on the water.”

29-30 He said, “Come ahead.”

Jumping out of the boat, Peter walked on the water to Jesus. But when he looked down at the waves churning beneath his feet, he lost his nerve and started to sink. He cried, “Master, save me!”

31 Jesus didn’t hesitate. He reached down and grabbed his hand. Then he said, “Faint-heart, what got into you?”

32-33 The two of them climbed into the boat, and the wind died down. The disciples in the boat, having watched the whole thing, worshiped Jesus, saying, “This is it! You are God’s Son for sure!”

I know that God wants me to do this but I’m afraid of the waves. What happens if I just waste my time. If there isn’t anything else once I leave the ‘boat’ of computing. What happens if all my ideas are just that, my ideas. Its a matter of trust I guess.

Pilgrimage Diary – Walking

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Today is Wednesday but I’ve been too busy to show these of our beautiful walk on Sunday. I really enjoyed the first bit. Our teenage daughter came with us and we were chatting about cooking and other things. But we were going a bit slowly for her. ‘Its a bit monotonous, ‘ she said. ‘That’s sort of the point of walking,’ I replied. It was a beautiful spring day with the leaves just beginning to bud on the trees.

Later I went to church. To be honest I was too tired to really engage. The text was from John 3. This is one of the key passages in the whole of Christian thinking. It hinges on the idea of being ‘Born again’ or ‘Born of the spirit’.

Now the problem with this is not everyone is. The preacher himself admitted that this had never happened to him. And it is more a matter of need rather than merit. You can be a very good, kind person and never be born in the spirit. You can be a pretty awful, mixed up person and it can happen quite suddenly. The extreme example of this is Paul, on the road to Damascus. Its all a bit unfair really but typical of Jesus. The sick get the doctor and the healthy look on. When I’ve finished working (only three more days!) and have more time I’m going to go into this a bit more but this is all I have time for now.

Pilgrimage Diary – Work

I had all sorts of fun things to write about: Our walk yesterday, being ‘born again’. And I will, I promise, but something happened today that pulled me up short. The guy at work that I had been struggling with left very suddenly. When I spoke to my manager it turned out that it had been coming for a few weeks but a whole lot of thoughts came to me: Could I have been kinder, more patient? Should I have kept my misgivings to myself? What kind of job is it where a computer system is more important than the people who work on it? But a computer system runs the company. If it doesn’t work then the company could fail and that affects a whole lot more people? I have always avoided line management because, when it comes down to it, my loyalty at work is to the computer system. What kind of person does that make me?

Pigrimage diary – Waiting.

IMG_0131One of the things I like about cooking is that it takes a certain time. There are periods when you have to wait for things to be cooked, or cooled, or to ‘rest’. Yesterday, with all the pastry disasters there was a lot of waiting around. About every six weeks we do a meal for homeless and disadvantaged people. The people working in the kitchen turn up at about 11am and chop vegetables and get things ready. Then there is a ‘lull’ while we stand around chatting. As I’m the team leader I always feel a bit guilty about this as I think everyone wants to be and useful all the time. But its just the way food preparation works, especially when you are cooking for a lot of people. Then we serve it out and every one is busy.

The picture today is in our ‘conservatory’ which is very rough and ready as you can see. There is a large bougainvillea plant in there. The winter has been very long, wet and dark here (although not as cold as in the US or Canada) and I was beginning to think this plant had given up. But yesterday I noticed all of these new shoots. In a month or so they will be bright pink. One of the things we are loosing in our modern society is learning to wait.

I’m preparing a bible study for next week and one of the passages is John 15: 5-8. He talks about being part of his Vine. We have a vine outside and it looks dead. But it isn’t. Just waiting.

Pilgrimage diary – Cooking day.

IMG_0129Spent the whole afternoon cooking for the quiz tonight. My attempt at pastry was a disaster so I got some out the freezer. Turned out OK in the end.